April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. 96. You speak as if youre not single yourself! My grandfather had a ton of these. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: Financially? Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. Im sorry. but it's just so blunt and funny. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. Your email address will not be published. Nowadays, potential mates need money. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. (Use a sexy tone). Choose one of these responses to inject some life into your monotonous chats. 2. Just Smile And Nod The answer is simple. You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. What do you say when people ask you that? If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Dave Barry (author). 16. Hey, whered you get that nose? It could be raining men, and Id still be single. 67. If you're taking a vacation and staying home, your clients or coworkers may still expect you to pop into the office and answer their emails. 80. 2. "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." Is that a scar on your face? Do you really care? I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. provided, of course, that he really is dead." #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. Whilst university does present some challenges, it does not mean you need to take several days to reply to a message.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_16',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',108,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-108{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Then they throw dirt in your face. I used to think you were a pain in the neck. 12. 54. If I was doing any better, I would hire you to enjoy it with me. 41. Call the police." 13 Quora User The best GIFs are on GIPHY. response, because I need clarity in my interactions. Keep talking. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. Checklists & Reminders! If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. I repeat I am plural! This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. Thank you Fred. Here's another way to respond to your crush. To text, most of us need our thumbs. No, keep talking. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. What to say when your crush asks how you are? If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? 24. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. Read more about Martin here. 3. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. Is it your job to spread ignorance? Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? 83. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. 50. Whats with all these questions? Youre free to go. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. Scroll down! If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. via: Pexels / George Pak. alive # dead meat # tremors # kill count # survived # reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. 13. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . 51. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. That's impossible. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. 7. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. 39. 85. Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. 5. Oh, well 8. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! 1. 7. Being single is much better than being married. If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. Who told you that? Its too small to be out there all alone. Spiritually? I have a gold watch that belonged to him. Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. 3. Just so you know, I value me time over we time. You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. "Hey You, I'm really good. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? But Ive also had better. The following two tabs change content below. You may join me, though. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! "Yeah, you're three years late. So, how does average sound? Come to think of it, your face is old, too. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". You look tired. Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. Youll never be even half the man your mother is. It lets him know that you love spending time together. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. Could be payday. Could Be Payday. Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. It could always have been worse. You're the reason God created the middle finger. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. It must have been a long, lonely journey. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. I just adore my own company. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". My bad, its just your mouth. So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. Are those space pants? I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. 93. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. 62. "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". Im jealous of people who dont know you. Sort of. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. How are you? could be much more than a basic question, but we tend to stick to the same old, half-hearted responses. Could be better, though. Once youre dead, youre made for life. Jimi Hendrix (musician), Death will be a great relief, no more interviews. Katharine Hepburn (actress), Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus (historian), You know youre old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope (comedian), Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. EW Howe (author), There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. 25. It's impossible for things to be perfect. 97. 382 Likes, 344 Comments. Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. I always yawn when Im interested. Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. There is plenty of room. 5. 1. How do you think that I am doing? Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. Because Jamaican me crazy! Yup, I dont share it. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. 76. How are you? Alexa's response: No, that's not true. Image: wikimedia commons 6. Try these OOO messages to let people know you're taking a break. But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. Privacy Policy. I'm alive! Everyone wants me, but no one dares! When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. Living the dream! How impressive! It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" Theyre not replying to you, but theyre posting on Twitter. I am not sure what you mean. In My Phone or On My Phone Which is Correct? Ah, sarcasm. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Feel my shirt. 47. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. Follow for more funny content!! The music billboard charts got it wrong! Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. Better inside than outside. I'm afraid I can't do that. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". Your secrets are always safe with me. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Reply. Best 45 seconds of my life. "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". Just look what happened there! I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? . Opposites attract, right? If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. 78. Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. 1. Stupidity isnt a crime. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. Youre a ground-hugger. "See, I will finally make you smile.". 40. I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. 17. Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. Siri, why am I still single? I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. | Are you surviving? Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. Thats because Im still waiting for you. Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. 9. WHY!? Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Because Im awkward and ugly. a fate worse than death." Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" 1. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. *Siri activates front camera*. What a miracle. Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. Not sure why you're asking me my age. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." 12. Share the best GIFs now >>> To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. What do you mean Im still single. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. You win the internet. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. 3. 58. 91. People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. Boom. Susan Winter, relationship expert, and bestselling author, This article was originally published on Dec. 15, 2020. *licks lips*. Could Be Better. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. 28. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! 18. Hope you're well". [*clap your hands*]. 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple.
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